I hope YOUS enjoy this.

It's not that I get appalled when I hear someone butcher the English language. It's more like every fucking bone inside me writhes in pain. I'm not like normal people. I've come to accept that about myself. It's something I've worked on internally for many years. But sometimes I kid myself into thinking that I've got it under control and can safely reenter the world as a functioning member of society.

I am sure many morons are thinking that proper English and grammar are not that important. If you think this, you are wrong. Let me try to explain in some sort of detail that people will understand.

If a person claimed that 2+2=5, you would correct them in an instant. Why is it more socially acceptable to correct Math than English? Grammar DOES matter. Grammar is a standard for communication. Try ignoring any other standard and see what happens. Lousy grammar is not confined to speech and, in my mind at least, compromises the credibility of a business when it appears in printed materials, signs or flyers. Yes, even for a humble pizza joint or any sort of store, it makes me doubt the management’s intelligence and attention to detail. I think the reason people get up in arms about spelling and punctuation is that it demonstrates attention to detail and dedication to one’s work. I think there is something in this, as many of our greatest achievements result not from intelligence and creativity alone, but in combination with diligence and focus on detail.

I enjoy watching Judge Judy. In many of these episodes a dark person is often heard saying the word axed. Every time I hear this I think that the case must be an assault case. I think they used an ax and hit the person with it, this is not the case. They actually intended to say the word asked. I did not realize that the word asked was so difficult to say. Perhaps they are not physically capable of saying the word. The next time I see one of these people I will be sure to ax them.

We was... when typed like this" Wewas" is sounds like some sort of cute cuddly bear or it reminds me of Chewie from Star Wars. A "Wewas" is not a bear it is two words. The two words are not supposed to be put together. When mental retards say Wewas I only laugh and think to myself what a funny gibble. But when a regular person says Wewas I want to beat the shit out of them. A person in the government was actually heard say these two words together. Don't forget you are the fuckers that voted them in.

A simile is a comparison of two unlike things, typically marked by use of the word like. You would be surprised at how many young people today are poets. These genetically defective fucks seem to play a game in which they compete against each other to see who can use the word like as many times in a sentence. It usually seems to occur more often in young teenage blonde girls. Unless you are trying to draw a comparison do not use this word.

He goes, she goes, every time I hear this I goes ape shit. Unless he or she actually moves their lard ass from one spot to another spot, he does not go and she does not go. I think what you want to say is He said and she said. Goes and said mean totally different things. You are confusing people. This sort of shit is annoying. In order for me to understand you I have to buy a secret decoder ring to decode what you are trying to say. I don’t have the time or the inclination to do this. So stop that shit.

I am always happy to hear that people “Don’t got none”. I say this because if you don’t have none that means you have some. Some is what I want. Therefore when I ask for a diet Coke and you tell me you Don’t got none I think that you are saying you have some. Only real fucktards say this crap. If you feel that you are a fucktard please keep saying Don’t got none. Any person who has failed remedial math at least twice will tell you that two negatives equal a positive.

Although widely disapproved as nonstandard and more common in the habitual speech of the less educated, that is correct, LESS EDUCATED , ain't is flourishing in American English. It is used in both speech and writing to catch attention and to gain emphasis. When I hear the word ain’t, it does catch my attention, and it does emphasis to me what an uneducated moron you are. Using this word does nothing but inform me of how much of a taint you are. If you are an uneducated taint, please continue to use the word.

I was watching a design show on HGTV. The designer said she had “preprimed” the dresser. Yes, this stuff makes my eyeballs ache. Preplan, predrill, preprime, preboard, preheat are all redundancies and I get weary of hearing them all the time. People seem to think putting “pre” in front of any word gives it more importance or urgency. On the cooking channel I always hear the person tell me to preheat the oven. How does a person preboard a plane, either you get on the plane or you don’t. You either drill a hole or you don’t. This obsession with the word pre is getting to be some sort of prefetish. Unless you are some sort of pre perverted person stop pre-ing and say what you mean.

In my experience an awful lot of people who appear to know a great deal of stuff, are in fact complete idiots who haven’t really got a clue what they’re talking about nor the ability to say it properly. In days gone by these people wouldn’t even have a job, and the fact that they have today explains a lot about what’s wrong with the world. Why is it so wrong to strive to become better at speaking and writing the English language? I want people to point out my grammatical mistakes so I can learn and grow as a person. Why has this become a negative in our society? I don’t feel that uneducated people speak and write poorly, I think that stagnate and lazy people write and speak poorly. Although, being lazy and stagnate seems to go hand in hand with the uneducated.

Don’t let the terrorists win. If they can speak English better than we can, we are going to give them the impression that we are morons.